not my fault

I know I haven't posted in a while and I don't know if it is because I am too lazy, or if it is because I am not longer pretending to be anonymous. But life just really sucks some times. I know that I have things a lot better then so many people but all I want to do is crawl in a hole. I don't want to be in pain any more and it seems like just more and more things keep going wrong with my body. The worst part is that I am sick of feeling guilty for things I can't control. I know that medical bills are expensive, and I know that prescriptions cost a lot. I did not choose to have these things happen so why do I have to feel guilty for the consequences of them??? Just a little rant before bed.... I have been holding that in for a while now. we will see if letting it out helps at all.