I love my children, I love being a mother, I love being home...
But some days, it seems more often then not, I just want to run away from them or maybe just lock them in a closet. I am a person who likes to give and feel love through touch, but by the end of the day I feel like if another person touches me I am going to explode. I feel awful because it seems like all day long I am telling them to go away, or be quiet, or go watch tv... Then when daddy gets home I want to clock out and be off duty until the next day. I know that a mommy is suppose to be selfless and give all that she has to her children, but what if I don't have anything left to give. And what about hubby? If I give everything to the kids I have NOTHING left for him. So what is more important? Being a good wife or a good mother? That is my ramble for the day. I really do want people to comment and give me some advice on these things. I am just typing to hear myself think... but feedback would be wonderful..
Find something you can do for yourself. be a little selfish. Happy, confidant woman = better Mommy, and wife. Go back to school? An hour at the gym everyday? Anything for YOU that gets you away and can help you feel good about yourself. Vegging and hiding usually help to calm nerves and get through a day, but getting out and doing something builds your self esteem and gets you away.
ReplyDeletePS: it will be a sacrifice for your family to let you do that. At that's ok. They will survive. Babysitter, hubby stepping it up to watch kids, you getting up a littler earlier to get out before he goes to work. Trust me, its worth it. If hubby isn't willing I'll kick his can. I don't know who you are....BUT if I did and I knew you were a person who doesn't really like to exercise, I would also say...give it a shot. You might surprise yourself and actually enjoy and hour jog or at the gym a day.
ReplyDeleteI think that most mothers feel this way at least one time or another. I think that if you can remember that the Lord will bless you with increased capacity to love, it helps. You can love them all!
ReplyDeleteSometimes, not all at the SAME time, though!
I agree about doing a little something for yourself. Taking care of yourself will take care of your family, too. Most women feel guilty doing things for themselves, but we all need/deserve/should have it!!!!!!
Tell the boy you need a little break. Like a SERIOUS break. 2 kid free/husband free hours of scrapbooking 2 times a week or going for a bike ride a few times a week or something. It needs to be scheduled and he needs to suck it up so that you can all be ok!
You deserve it, woman!!!!
Thats what it is like at my house, but I am definitely not a touch oriented person. My kids have learned through the years to ask if its ok to touch me or sit on my lap or climb on me and that gives me a fraction of a second to prepare myself for touch.
ReplyDeleteI also love my kids but when I went to parent night at the school I longed to go back to teaching.
At dinner tonight I told my kids I needed 5 minutes of silence. I didn't want to hear them say another thing and told my husband that someday I'd be really sad when my kids were gone and we were empty nesters but at this moment I just wanted everyone to be quiet.
I know the rewards and benefits in the future and eternity will completely outweigh all the hassle and irritation of the now, but I am a selfish being trying to get over it and slowly each day I improve and then loose it all and blow my cool and have to start over.
This is a whole lot of rambling on my part. But I totally agree and know how you feel for the most part.